Your destiny...

We all have dreams and desires but it's our faith and resolve that differientates us all. How much we believe in ourselves and how much we truly want to achieve our goals separates us as people. Everyone wants a million dollars but how man people are going to work towards achieving that wish? Sitting and hoping won't help, but action will. Take action, create results!

Ours dreams are reached through hard work and time. Our destiny is not predetermined but shaped. We shape our futures. Our willingness to sacrifice, struggle, and believing in ourselves help determine our successes. Our focus, motivation, and determination lead us to our dreams.

Our dreams can be reached if you are willing to try. Talking about them doesn't help achieve them, it just reminds you that they exist. Accomplishment are completed through action not hope. Hard work brings results so work hard. It's never too late to try something you've wanted to do or to be something you wanted to be. Life doesn't have a timeline set for us, we make our own. Dreams remind us what is possible. Keep dreaming because your destiny awaits you.

Dreamers and the people who no longer dream...

Everyone is different. We come from different backgrounds and have overcome different struggles. We are unique. We all see things differently. Not only do we see things differently, we judge people not from what they can do or who they are but what we can do and who we are.

You can tell someone a fact and they explain to you about regarding how they would handle the situation or express their opinion on the matter but opinion is only opinion. People too often confuse opinion and fact. You can tell someone how much you want to do something and they can tell you how much you shouldn't or can't. Truth is, they shouldn't. Truth is they can't. Truth is they don't think you can because deep down it's not that they don't think you can, deep down they truly know they can't.

People want you to be like them. If they have kids, they want you to have kids. People want to keep you where there are. If you want to explore they will explain the danger. If you have dreams, they want to discourage them. It's ok to dream. Being comfortable is safe for some and some will tell you about how great it is. Somepeople can't understand your goals because they truth is, they don't have any if their own. A ship is safe at dock but that not what ships were meant to do. A ship is meant to sail.

People see the world and judge you not how they see you, rather how they see themselves. It makes sense for a dog to fear a stick after it's been beaten... and the person swinging the stuck would have it no other way. When someone hears something extraordinary and can't believe it, it's because they can't do it, not that you can't. A person who has been lied to doesn't see to hate the liar, they become skeptical of statements. People become skeptical of people with passion because they don't have any of their own. It's never about you, it's solely about them.

Don't allow others to bring you down. Don't allow others to hold you back. Don't allow others to keep you where they are. Don't allow others to judge you based on how they see themselves.

It's ok to dream. Ambition, passion, goals may be dirty words to the comfortable, but we are all different. Stay focused. Work towards your goals. Words tell of your goals, actions achieve them. Act towards your goals. People ask why I smile so much? The answer is because I know a secret that they don't know. Hard work gets rewarded, so keep smiling everyone... It's going to be a great day.

It's ok to dream.

A day...

With each morning new opportunity is born. Our whole day ahead of us, our path yet to be blazed, anything is possible. The morning is used to prepare, educate, and groom. The world is unpredictable we must be ready. When then are ready to attack the day.

By afternoon, our focus is obtained and our goals are set. We work feverishly towards achieving them with distraction along the way. Things will happen to derail us along the way, it's up to us how much we let them affect us. Do these things truly derail us or do they merely slow us down?

In the evening we look back upon our day. Whether we accomplished our goals or not our day is over. Sometimes it's not the absolute achievement of our goal that defines our days, rather the path we took or the work we invested. It really comes down to if you were satisfied with yourself.

Where are you in your day? Are you happy with the way your day is going or have you allowed yourself to be distracted? It's not too late to get back on course. Are you upset in the way you are living your day? It's never too late to change. Do you have an unclear goal for the day? It's ok to want something else.

At the end of the day, will you be able to look back on your day with joy or regret? It's your day and the time is now...

Being unaffected...

We all enjoy the feeling of love, likewise we are all crushed by the act of betrayal. Our emotions tell us how to feel but not always how to act. You can feel anger and not perform rash actions... you can experience frustration and remain mellow. Life is just as much what happens to us as how we react back.

Anyone with the power to anger us, controls us. Do insults from a ugly stranger sting as badly as it would from your biggest crush? Of course not. To us the stranger and the stranger's opinion doesn't matter to us. The crush on the other hand, we place value in their words... even if it's the same insult.

Disassociate emotion and reaction. There will be highs in life as well as lows, let neither impact you too greatly. Stay calm in the face of panic and patient when you are normally angered. Impulse is important but actions that don't help you may ultimately hurt you. We are only as happy as we allow ourselves to be... choose happiness. Not everything that happens in life can be control by us, but our attitudes can be.

The positive assumption...

One of the things I had to relearn was how I thought. My life was riddled with insecurities and down right fear, being left alone with only my brain to think compounded the matter. I was able to make mountains out of molehills when in reality there wasn't even dirt to begin with. I had to break the routine of self-doubt and the feeling of inferiority from within. I had to change my attitude.

One technique I used I nicknamed the "PA", the positive assumption. I wasn't able to defy my mind from wandering, so instead I guided it. Instead of making an assumption that worked against me or made me feel badly about myself, I would make an assumption that worked for me and made me smile. If a girl didn't call me back, it wasn't because I wasn't good enough... maybe she liked me so much she was too nervous to call. Instead of a friend being late because of traffic, maybe they were late because they met a beautiful foreign girl or they bought a lottery ticket and won a million dollars. I couldn't stop myself from speculating but I could stop myself from being insecure.

We all are going to have good days and bad days. We all go through ups and downs. My intention in life isn't to fight off the bad days, just to limit or shorten them. Life is a wave, surf it...

Running...

With each step I took, I realized I was one step closer to my goal. At first laps seemed like an eternity. My first day, I remember surviving three excruciating laps. I fell short of even making a mile. I had to put it into perspective... you have to start somewhere.

With each day it got easier. When I began this stage of my life, five miles seemed impossible, but I knew I could make a lap. I convinced myself that if I could do one lap, I should be able to finish two. If two or three laps was possible, why could I squeeze out one more? If I could do a mile, why not a mile and a half? Pretty soon I was convinced that no distance was impossible if I took it one lap at a time.

Life involves is one step at a time. It's the difficulty of that first step that people have problems with. With time and experience, confidence will build. We can accomplish tremendous things if we just remember to take them one lap at a time.
Keep smiling everyone... the finish line will be behind you in no time.

Wanting to run...

A simple technique I learned from long distance running was the importance of setting goals. I haven't always been a self motivator nor would I say that I'm at all highly competitive, so running long distances was sort of a challenge for me. Like most challenges I've faced, it was trial and error.

As a child I was overweight. I wasn't too athletic but really loved sports. Since I wasn't very athletic or in very good shape, sports were a huge challenge for me. I wanted to be good at them I just really didn't have am approach.

The summer after my junior year in high school became a turning point for me. I was a very quiet kid growing up with few friends. The few friends I had I was extremely loyal to and respected tremendously. That summer my really good friend got stuck in summer school. I'm sure it came as a huge blow to him but it also affected me a lot too... one of my only friends couldn't do anything before noon for most of the summer!

Wanting to do something about my weight and with the news of my friends' summer school sentence, I needed to come up with a plan. Each morning I planned on dropping him off at his school and then running around the track.

I found out having a plan was the easy part, going through on it would be rough...

My freedom...

People are merely confined by the limits they put on themselves. They decide the things they can do and even allow themselves to try. For good or for bad, these walls exist. Depending on the individual, these walls maybe be further for some and higher for others, but we all have them.

I've always heard that the worse invention man made was the pedestal they put women on. I grew up extremely shy, unable to speak up for myself, and deathly afraid of women. That sentence about the pedestal had little meaning until I began to give myself value.

When I began to understand that people are merely people, doors opened for me I never knew existed let alone could open. Celebrities, women, bullies, or whomever I felt had power... were not better than I was. Conversely, the poor, underprivileged, or people I thought I was better than... I really wasn't better than at all. We were all just people trying to make it through the day.

When I began to be grateful for the things I had instead of thinking they weren't good or exciting enough I felt empowered... over myself. It's not the possessions you have that define who you are, it's your character. Your actions and decisions make up the person you are, not the clothes on your back rather the smile on your face.

When I began to speak up for myself I realized that people weren't trying to silence me, I was silencing myself. People are willing to listen if you are willing to talk. Everyone has problems and opinions, and we all need ears. I kept myself a "secret". To not ask, you make the decision for the other person with the answer always a no.

You don't need to ask permission to be yourself. You're not required to put up with other people mistreating you. It's your right to want the most for yourself. It's the right thing to stand up for the things you believe in. You don't have to feel bad to tell people when things bother you. It's not a flaw to express joy and show affection. It's a beautiful thing to be you. Be you.

The day I granted my own pardon from my self-imposed prison was the first day I actually felt free. I hope everyone one day sheds their shackles and find their own voice. Keep smiling everyone...

Snow...

The air chills and the days grow shorter. Clouds circle and loom while the sun fades. Winter's reappearance tows along it's annual gift. As the snow floats from the heavens above, a slue of new feelings enter our souls.

For some snow represents joy and traditions. The happiness of the holidays warms the hearts of many, as families reconvene around kitchen tables for a celebratory feast... while others, apart or alone from loved ones, dread the memories. One child might see the snow and wonder why his stupid mom is making him wear the ugly sweater his aunt bought him a year ago... at the same time his younger brother, grinning ear to ear, stares out the window in awe. One man might open his door in the morning with disgust, proceed to grab his shovel, and dread the next hour of labor... his neighbor, a lift operator, opens his door with relief that he actual is going to have work.

The snow continues to fall, unaffected by how it's seen. The snow can't help how's it's seen nor does it matter. It knows it can't please everyone and it doesn't care. The snow falls because it always falls.

Your roses maybe riddled with thorns while other people's thorns may have roses attached to them, it's really how you see it. In life you don't have to love, it's your choice. Keep smiling everyone and if you are lucky enough to have snow, I hope you enjoy it...

Respecting others...

The people in your life are who you are. Their actions, emotions, and words shape you into the people we are. In a relationship and in life, you only get out what you put into it. Each friendship you have is really just a relationship to some extent. No truer words have been spoken when I say treat other people the way you would want to be treated. If you want respect, respect others.

No one is perfect, we all have flaws. No one is happy all the time and we've all had bad days. Pick your battles and let the rest slide off your back. Sometimes the things that anger us are things we've done ourselves even.

Life is short, there's no need for grudges. Life is short, make the most of your time. Life is short, value and love the people around you...

Hard work...

One of my core beliefs is the hard work gets rewarded. If you put zero work in, expect poor results. Many people want changes in their lives but few people are willing to put the work in to accomplish it.

If you continue to do the same things in life, you should expect similar outcomes. If you want to lose weight, you are going to have to change habits to accomplish it. If you want more in life, you need to do the things to reach where you want to be. Sacrifice, determination, and effort are not bad words, usually they are the words needed for success.
It's never too late to start and it's usually never the wrong time either.

Saying you want something and working towards achieving it are two different things. Be a person of action and not talk. Work hard towards your goals and you will see results... and always remember to keep smiling.

Fresh starts...

Living and acting outside your comfort zone doesn't have to exclusively pertain to trying new things... it may also involve ending safe yet unhealthy ones. We are the things we do and we are the people we associate with, fairly or unfairly. In order to be a more positive person, you need to do more positive things.

People should not be identified by a single action but by a compilation of their lifetime's accomplishment. No one is perfect and we've all made mistakes. Mistakes are pretty common. To continually make the same mistake turns it from bad mistake into instead, a bad habit. It is just as important to do perform positive actions and accomplish self imposed goals as it is to stray away from bad habits. Sometimes we become better people by simply ending the things that we do to hold us back.

This idea does not only limited to the actions we do but by the company we keep. This may be harder for most people to see than our bad habits. Standing behind people who aren't moving will not help you to achieve your goals. Living in a crowd of non-supportive people will not motivate you. People want to keep you where they are, not propel you to where you want to be. One of the hardest things in life is to identify this and move on. People in your past are usually not in your future for a reason.

Surround yourself with successful people. Don't emulate the people who haven't accomplished the goals you want to achieve, mirror the people in the places you want to be. Listen to the people who can help you not the people who can't. Some people increase you as a person, others decrease you... be strong enough to know the difference. In turn, increase others.

Life is a journey... along the way we are going to meet people who help us and people who hurt us, hold on to the people who matter and shed the ones that don't. Keep smiling everyone...

Differences...

One of the hardest truths in life to grasp is that as much as we want and think we are right, sometimes we are wrong. Sometimes we think our way is the only way but sometimes there are many ways. Even if we believe something so strongly it must be a fact, ultimately it's still just opinion. No person has all the right answers.

We are a collection of the things that we've seen. We become the experiences we've had. We handle things the way we've seen things being handled before. We are actions of our parents, the lessons from our teachers, and the discipline from authority.

Everyone is different and from different backgrounds. We've all had different experiences and have seen things differently. No two people are completely alike and this is a blessing. Even you and your "soul mate" won't agree on absolutely everything and will have some different views from time to time. These differences are not a bad thing at all, rather a great thing.

The differences in people are the things that allow us to learn. We can use these differences to learn about ourselves and the other people. These differences are the things that defined us in the first place. Discovering technique that worked and styles that meshed came from watching ones that succeeded and failed. We are what we've seen.

We can also use these differences to realize how similar we all are as well. We all have problems and no one is always right. We all stumble from time to time and we all have help others who've done the same. We are all just people in the world, let's do the best job we can...

Listening...

One of the important things I needed to learn about myself was I didn't know anything about being assertive. This realization forced me to look inside and be true to myself. I had to be honest with myself and start from zero. One thing I've always held to be fact was look to experts when seeking advice. To me everyone was somewhat of an expert so I had to respect what people told me when I asked a question. I had to learn to listen.

Listening was a lot harder than it sounded and I noticed incredibly more rare than people were willing to admit. Having been forced to humble myself and seek the advice of others, I felt they only way to be respectful was to listen. To be successful, emulate the people who were successful... for me that was to watch and observe outgoing people.

I followed, watched, and mirrored their actions but more importantly I listened to the advice that they gave me. I had to teach myself that asking for help wasn't a huge obstacle, asking for advice wasn't insulting, and criticism wasn't a negative but a positive. Even these facts becoming apparent were huge steps in my growth.

Listening is not the art of hearing but the art of focusing and understanding. It doesn't require part of your attention but all of it. Learn to listen, life becomes easier...

My first few strokes...

So my journey had began and I had really no direction. Dissatisfied with the way things were, I branched out and took risks that were further and further outside of my comfort zone. I thought that each step, right or wrong, was a step in the right direction... and boy there were many steps.

I don't view things that go badly as mistakes. I think of them as experiences. Some experiences are better than others but experiences come with lessons. Experiences help shape and mold us. You can learn as much from a success as a mistake as long as you truly learn from it. Learn from your "mistakes" and try not to duplicate them.

So my original approach was simply "action". Just get out there, try and do. I referred to it as "sink or swim" because there was little technique but only instinct. "Trial and error" was an understatement, but I learned a lot of lessons. Life is about personal growth and I grew by leaps and bounds.

I began to think about the mindsets that I began to form. A few of the things I was forced to learn was humility, honesty and openness, as well as confidence and comfortableness. I was also forced to harness my ability to listen and to take direction. I didn't know it all,in fact I knew nothing. I did recognize the fact to emulate the people in the positions that I wanted to be in. Follow people who are successful and going places.

Even these huge revelations had consequence, but I was ready for the challenge. Nothing could get in my way...

Finding your voice...

Growing up extremely shy I had a terrible time finding the courage to really say much. I was embarrassed of my voice and tried everything I could never to use it. The part of me that tolerated my voice didn't think the things I had to say were important enough to be said. I thought my thoughts were unimportant and began to feel like I wasn't good enough to ever speak up for myself.

As I began to learn how to overcome my shyness, I began to speak up more. If people were going somewhere I wanted to go, I found the strength to ask if I could go... and you know what, they usually said yes. At restaurants, I began to summon the courage to request my food the way I wanted it, and sure enough, it wasn't a major problem. I learned that you only get what you ask for... people can't read minds.

One of the things I remember that was a problem when I was shy was never really saying how I felt. I hinted about it. I could infer it... but there was no way I could ever be direct. Beating around the bush used to be my favorite game. Since people did not always pick up on my hints and since people do not read minds, I was often disappointed.

Not being direct lead to a few other problems other than not getting the things I wanted... I often wasn't understood. Things I tried to say got taken the wrong way. People made a lot of assumptions and I didn't really have to words to express myself. Poor communication will lead to countless fights and I was the king of poor communication.

Not being direct and being misunderstood a lot, I learned to keep a lot of my feelings bottled up inside me. After time I realized that was crazy. You can't keep everything you feel bottled up inside you, you'll explode.

The more I began to shed my shyness, the more direct I began to be. I was beginning to tell people the things I liked and more importantly the things I didn't. I learned to get things off my chest and it made me feel a lot better. My happiness mattered to me and I learned that no one would know how I felt unless I told them. I finally felt like I found my voice.

Finding your voice opened many doors for me. Understanding that being direct and communication would ultimately make me a happier person. People don't have to do the things you want or act the way you want them to... but if they won't if you never tell them. People can't read minds nor can they guess how you feel. Sometimes you just have to tell them.

Keep smiling everyone, it's going to be a nice day out...

"May I help you?"

I came to realize that I didn't want to be shy anymore and wanted to become more assertive but I didn't know how to accomplish it. Instead of formulating a plan I simply began doing things that would force me out of my comfort zone. Life is a process and my approach was quite the learning experience.

I began trying new things on my own. I started small, things like talking more in class or becoming more vocal when making plans. So often in the past I would simply sit back quietly and watch things unfold around me. I was merely a spectator in my classes, with my friends, in my life. These "small" battles served as enormous steps for me as well as huge motivating tools. I realized that so many of the things that had been roadblocks in the past were simply self-imposed. I knew I had to do things even harder, I knew I had to do things even further outside my comfort zone.

Although I had become more and more comfortable around the people I already knew, I understood that I had to overcome an even bigger fear... I had to become comfortable around strangers. This came with quite the learning curve. A failure truly isn't a failure if you learn from them and boy did I learn quite often. For every success there were ten failed chances. For every random "hi" I quietly mustered, there were a thousand missed opportunities and a thousand excuses to go along with them. You can always find an excuse not do do something right?

Once again I had to take a plunge. Realizing I needed a sense of accountability in order to decrease my excuse making, I joined the big scary world of retail selling. This made it my job to approach strangers. With my boss looming over my head, I was forced to come out of my shell a little. Having frequented the place for years, it was still a pretty safe step, but a particularly important one as well.

Each step in our lives in a positive direction is as important step. No step is too small and no step should be discounted. Life is a process...

Sink or swim...

I had long wondered why people did extreme sports. To me they mostly looked dangerous and unnecessary. I had never done anything "dangerous" so I didn't understand the allure. For me, I couldn't see their value. I had always thought it was easier to stay comfortable than to take risks.

We I began coming out of my shell I began to learn the importance of taking risks. I began to understand the attraction to the adrenaline. Without understanding the reward, it was hard to gauge the risk. I lived my life making all the safe plays and I knew I wanted and needed more. I started craving the rush.

Desire was only half the battle, unfortunately actual effort and risk were the other. I found wanting to do something was a lot easier than actually following through with it. It's a lot easier to talk and think a big game, but those first steps in doing it were incredibly hard. As hard as they were I understood they were necessary. In order for me to grow as a person, I needed to take more risks.

Even though I got to the point of knowing I needed to change, I didn't know how. Instead of spending time trying to figure out the exact best way of going about it, I decided it was best to dive right in. I either had to sink or swim and I knew I had to swim.

My swim began with a series of little things. I label them "little things" now but to me they seemed like impossible steps. I decided to speak up a little more. Instead of simply thinking an opinion, I actually started voicing my views. I wasn't overbearing about it, more along the lines of quiet and timid. I doubt anyone even noticed or batted an eyelash, but to me I had just won the Superbowl. My rapidly beating heart was rewarded with the thrill of victory. To me, a simply sentence was an extreme sport. I had began understanding adrenaline and it felt really good...

Gaining perspective...

Life is a series of ups and downs... take neither that seriously. Someone can have ten awesome things happen to them and get upset at the slightest roadblock. Appreciate the positives and deal with the negatives, but always remember there are more positives to come.

Good things happen in life continually. Unfortunately bad things happen too. The goal is to lessen the impact of negative things when they occur. How you react when adversity hits is an important key to life. Don't get too low during the lows and don't get too high during the highs, both are temporary.

Pick your battles. If you overreact to everything, nothing is sacred. Let things go that do not matter. Allow things to hit you like a ghost and have them pass right through you. See things for what they are... probably pointless. Take a step back and gain perspective.

Focus on the things that do matter to you and those are usually the positive things in your life. Keep smiling everyone, this too will pass...

Keep dreaming...

As children, our lives were 100% in front of us. Nothing was defined and anything was possible. Our dreams seemed likely and possible. As we all grew older, our lives began to become more defined and our dreams suffered. Our dreams became narrower and smaller... and sprung up a lot less often.

As we grow older, it starts to become more clear that there are things in our lives we are never going to get to do. We begin to limit our options and eliminate our dreams. As we grow older we begin to replace our dreams with regrets. The ideas of "I wished I would have..." or "I'll never get to..." pop into our heads more often.

Anything is possible. The same thing you forgot as a kid, still holds true today. It's not too late to become the person you wanted to be. You believed it as a child but forgot it along the way. It might be a lot harder and it might be a little different, but dreams can come true and goals can be reached.

Never stop dreaming, never grow old...

Knowing versus action...

Acting outside your comfort zone is the first step in living outside your comfort zone. It may seem like a small step but life is a series of small steps. Each step forward is a step closer to achieving your goal. An enormous goal can be reached with a series of smaller goals stacked on top of each other.

You will worry that people won't accept you. You will fear people are looking at you. You will talk yourself out of taking risks. Not trying is a lot easier than actually trying... but no results are a lot less satisfying than results. We want results.

Knowing what you need to do and doing it are two completely different things. Get the ball rolling and set forth on your new path.

Become the person you want to be...

Our jobs...

A person is not defined by the job they have but rather by the person they are. Jobs are merely what you do and not who you are.

Everyday I have the opportunity to work with some amazing people and I'm not shy to say that many of them are my role models. They come to work everyday with smiles on their faces and leave with smiles on their faces and that inspires me. It's not the job they do rather the people that they are.

Many of them are family men who sacrifice daily for the needs of their children and think that should be applauded. I think it's a very noble career path, not dealer, but parent. It's a 24 hour job that gets little respect but it's truly what defines you. Adults don't make children, it's the children that make adults.

Growing up I remember my parents working hard. They sacrificed time and money everyday for us. I remember watching them and wanting to emulate them. I see them in many of my co-workers and it makes me prideful. Some days they are tired. Some months money is tighter than others. Sometimes they have to tell their kids no. I remember this growing up.

One day I hope to mirror these people I see everyday. Maybe one day I will have my own family along with that opportunity to sacrifice and nurture for the sake of something wonderful. I'm pretty sure the only career that I want is husband and father, but until then I will just smile and do my best at my simple job, dealer.

You don't have to listen to your mind...

One thing I strive for in life is to become a better person than I used to be. My quest is to learn new things or improve on the things I already do. People like what they are good at. Most people choose the safe route and continue to do the things they are already excel at. I've learned to avoid the safe routes. My philosophy has always been to focus on the things I'm not good at instead of spending time with the things I can already do. This was not always the case rather it was something I learned.

Being a very shy kid... there was a lot of things I had to work on. I realized I had a lot of room for improvement but really wasn't sure how to do it. I was pretty comfortable in the life that I had carved out, but I knew I had a lot more potential than settling for comfortable. We all have tremendous potential whether we are willing to be honest with ourselves or not. Grasp your potential.

Being comfortable in my situation made it difficult to break out of my shell. I was nervous about rocking the boat and upsetting other people. I limited myself because I was worried about they way people would think of me. I did not know til later how stupid that actually sounded.

Already entrenched in my role as the quiet guy, the moments I did speak up was met with raised eyebrows. I wasn't very good at reading social cues, so I didn't really understand how to take them. Feeling uncomfortable with not understanding these reactions, I became discouraged from speaking my mind. I continued to be content with my position in my life. I imprisoned myself. My mind became my own worst enemy.

I finally realized one day that I didn't have to limit and listen to myself. Rocking the boat and living outside of my comfort zone was important for me to learn about myself... boy was that an eye-opening revelation.

Our dreams can be achieved...

We all have dreams and direction in life. Some people believe they can achieve them... others have have lost them along the way. Surround yourself with the people who continue to dream. Align yourself with friends who not only support you but also can inspire you. Support and inspire others.

For better or for worse, we become who are friends are. Surround yourself with great people and achieve great things. Avoid following someone who isn't going anywhere... they make terrible guides. Strength is used in two ways, you can either pull people up or hold people down. Pull other people up.

In your life you will run across a lot of people. Some people will help you reach your dreams while others will tell you your dreams are impossible. Your dreams are possible. Strive for your goals and help others reach their theirs too.

Nothing is impossible. Some journeys are longer than others and have more bumps in the road. You need friends who will remind you these are only bumps... stay focused, keep smiling, and never give up.

Be positive and stay motivate. Life is too short to waste time with people who tell you that you can't. You can...

How you became you...

Quite often people find themselves stuck in a certain routine. Whether they like the routine or not, they are comfortable enough with it to stick with it. But what if they don't like their routine anymore? What if they wanna break away from their routine? What if they don't know how?

Psychology tells us that people fall into routines and enjoy being comfortable because in a nutshell... it's normal.

Within a social circle people develop their role and define their place. When you first enter the group, you behave a certain way and gain social acceptance because of it. That very social acceptance leads you to continue to behave in that same manner as before to further the acceptance. Think of it like a puzzle, you eventually become a piece.

People maintain character whether they like it or not in order to fit in. The funny guy will always joke because the first time he did, people laughed. The nice girl will be nice because the first time she helped someone out, they thanked her. The leader will lead and followers will follow because the first time this dynamic occurred everything went smoothly. After enough time, you role become established.

This may all seem very vague but I wrote it like that for a reason. The model I described happens in all aspects of life and in any and every relationship you have. This dynamic is repeated continuously and circles infinitely overlap. This is how your personality is developed. This is how you became you...

My journey...

A large part of psychology deals with the idea of the human mind trending you towards social acceptance. Evolutionary psychology has conditioned you to make choices that best helps your survival. Individuals rely on their minds and conscience in day to day decisions. Maslow's hierarchy of needs identifies social support as being an important to an individual. In other words, we all fight the same fight... the battle against loneliness.

Another basic principle is the idea that if you continue to perform the same actions you should expect a similar result each time. In other words, if you do what you always do... you are going to get what you have always gotten.

What if you aren't happy with the results you've been getting? Imagine a scenario when your day to day life isn't what you want it to be. Imagine a scenario where you want more out of life?

My book wasn't written for the people in life who are satisfied with their current day to day situations, my book was written for the people who are unhappy about things. I write for the people want more out of life but don't really understand how to get there. This will seem second hand to some of you guys, but to a lot of people this will seem foreign.

I grew up a very shy child. I wandered aimlessly and very quietly. I watched life like a television show... not really involved in it, but more as a fan. I wasn't miserable by any means, but I knew I wanted more out of life. There came a time in my life when I wanted to not just watch the world, but become a part of it.

The journey wasn't easy by any means. Life is a process and a constant learning experience. Everyday is part of the journey. Everyday is filled with ups and downs, mistakes and failures, but in the end these things help up grow.

I want to thank everyone who has been a part of this journey with me. In the coming weeks, I hope you enjoy the upcoming blogs and excerpts. Life is an amazing thing, have a fantastic day and keep smiling...

Things do happen for a reason...

Most people hear the phrase "things happen for a reason" when things aren't going there way. People tell them that when something bad has just happened... as a way for them to cope. What's really important is for people to say it when things are going great as well.

People forget that life is filled with ups and down, twists and turns. People also forget that things do happen for a reason... but they forget this when times are good. Good things happen to good people. You are entitled to all the greatness you've achieved. It happened for a reason and the reason was probably you've earned it and deserved it. It's true that bad things will happen to good people also but they are seldom permanent (even thought we make think the pain will last forever).

Take time to enjoy the things you have. You've earned them. Appreciate the things in life that make you smile and grace past the things that upset you. Value the people in your life that love you and remember to love them back. Take the time to find your happiness... even with you think it's lost. Keep smiling everyone, today is another day to do something special :)

Lend a helping hand...

The people who gossip to you are gossiping about you. Surround yourself with people of character. Talking about other people is an easy thing to do... but is easy always the right thing? Be above it all. Don't sink to other people's levels.

Judging other people serves no positive purpose. Bringing other people down helps you little. I've always said there are two ways you can choose to use your strength... you can either hold someone down or help pull them up. Help pull people up.

There are certain things that you are going to excel at and be better than most at. You can either mock the other people or put it in the proper perspective. There are people better than you even at the things you take pride in... but even knowing that, how much does it matter? There's no life scoreboard that keeps track life's total points. If it makes you feel better, consider yourself having more points. But what does that mean? Ever think that there's things that other people do better than you? Do they mock you? Probably not.

It's pointless to compare yourself against other people. And it's even more pointless to gain pride from it. We are all more similar than we are different and everyone excels at different things. The only true comparison you really need to make is between yourself and yourself in the past. Are you a better person today than you were yesterday? You can ask yourself this everyday and work towards being able to answer that positively everyday as well.

Trying to gain value at the expense of others is the lowest way to do so. Personal value comes from within and not at the ridicule of another. Lower the people around you does not raise you, it reveals your character... not their's. Everyone is in the same fight, the fight against loneliness. Once you realize that, I hope it helps you realize a lot more.

Smile my friends... today is going to be a good good day!

Life is full of hope...

I live by the belief that not simply a few people can achieve their goals, but everyone can achieve their goals. Most people believe only special few remarkable individuals can make their dreams come true, but deep down I believe everyone is remarkable... the only problem is that they themselves haven't realized it yet.

People limit their accomplishments by limiting their realization that they in fact can accomplish things. Adversity, obstacles, and self-doubt begin to show themselves and people begin to create excuses in their head about being unable to do something. When they once believe they could... they now begin to believe they can't.

There once was a time in your life that you did something you didn't think was possible. You once took a chance and it paid off. One time you took on a task, worked hard, and completed it. You've proven it to yourself in the past that you could get things done, but maybe you have forgotten that. I could tell you that you can accomplish anything you put your mind to, but I don't have to. You know deep down this already to be true. Maybe sometimes you just need to remember it.

Dreams do and can come true. It may take longer than you had hoped and it may be harder than you thought, but you can achieve great things. Life is about dreams, not dreaming them, but reaching them. Make it happen... make it happen.

Be above it...

People are just a collection of their own thoughts and their own experiences. From your experiences, you develop your own moral code of standards. From this code of standards you hold yourself and most people unfortunately hold other people to these standards as well. People put themselves into other people's shoes and wonder what they wonder do if in the same situation. People project their own values on to others and judge them accordingly. One person can not believe another person was honest if they, in the exact same situation, would lie.

People waste too much time contemplating other people's situations. They rarely have any of the facts, but more importantly, they have a different life upbringing. Most of the time they are just commenting on what they see or think they see and not on what they know. Wasting energy worrying about other people is exactly that... wasting energy.

There's only one person in your life you need to hold to any standard and that's yourself. Focus on becoming the best person you can and let the chips fall as they may. Continue to strive to improve and never fall into the trap of thinking you know it all. Everyone has room to grow. Don't allow other people's negative comments to distract or derail you. Always be true to yourself. Surround yourself with supportive people and shy away from the people who feel the need to judge.

Much of life is a learning experience. You try and you fail. You try again and get better. You'll take different approaches to yield different results until you achieve a result that suits your need. So don't quit trying because the first few results were undesirable... consider them learning experiences.

A conversation...

Communication is the backbone to any great relationship. When all sides are able to express their true feelings in an honest and genuine way will communication truly work. Communication is a two way street which needs both sides in order to exist.

A conversation involves two parts... talking and listening. Most people find only have that to be true. Most people are good at talking and speaking their minds but few take the time and effort to actively listen. Often times people spend most of their time and energy trying to remember what to say or formulate which point they want to get across instead of just listening to the ideas or concerns of the other people involved. Listening involves more than hearing, it requires understanding what the person is saying.

Communication solves most problems. When done right, it replaces assumptions and speculation with fact and rationale. It bring peace of mind and settles uncertainty.

It's important to be able to express how you feel. That's an important aspect in personal growth and discovering your own personal value, but being able to listen to other people is just as important. Everyone has problems and concerns, be there for others when they need someone to talk to. When all is said and done, people need people. Don't shy away from a friend in need, instead seek out and let them know you are there when needed.

Life is not a dress rehearsal but it's the real thing. Mistakes will be made and feeling will get hurt. Communicate, understand, and accept... and never forget to keep smiling.

Saying you're sorry...

The goal in life is to try to do the best you can. We don't always know the right answers and sometimes we always don't know the right thing. You will make mistakes and never let yourself be too proud to own up to them. Mistakes are common but why are apologies so rare? Accept apologies when they are given and give them when they are needed. Forgiveness is a quality in the strong not a sign of the weak... forgive others.

There isn't a life scoreboard. At the end of it all, no one will congratulate you for winning 98% of your arguments. Winning and losing isn't important... growth and learning is important though. Focus on what's important and always remember to keep smiling.

Family...

In life you come across friends. You encounter foes. But in the the end, you can't change family. Family are there whether you want them or not. Embarrassed or proud, they are always a part of you. Embrace that part. It's who you are...

Life doesn't grant you the opportunity to decide your family. Live with the hand you are dealt, it's always a winner. Family will never bite you, and if that occurs, it's usually foreseen. Make the most of your opportunities and always smile...

Yes you can, should, and are supposed to...

What is easy for some people to do is impossible for others. Not because the others can't do it, but because they don't think they can, they should, or they are supposed to. Growing up incredibly shy, I can completely relate to this.

To a degree I woke up everyday and lived in other people's worlds. I went about my day quietly and watched other people doing the things that I wanted to be doing. While other people were standing up for themselves, I was submissive. While other people were outgoing, I stood there hoping to get asked to do something. While other proactive people were having fun and playing the game of life, I essentially stood on the sidelines and cheered them like a fan.

I'm here to tell you that you don't have to be an observer in other people's fun, instead you too can have fun too. There's nothing that makes them different from you or better than you other than the fact that you don't know that yet.

It is ok to take chances and in fact the more you take the less they actually seem like chances but rather the norm. A risk no longer becomes a risk if you are ok with all the outcomes. Don't question if you can, should, or are supposed to... the answer to those questions are yes. You are only limited by your effort.

Life can be fun for some and scary to others with the only difference being the mindset of possibilities. Having faith to make a move, take on a challenge, or speak up for yourself will change your life. It's your life, not someone else's.

The world is stage and you are the star of your own show. There is no rehearsal and no encore. It's a one person show and it's showtime. Good luck with your journey, everyone is pulling for you...

The mislabeling of a mistake...

Life is unpredictable and outcomes don't always go as predicted. Even with all the stars aligned and all the preparation finished, things might not go as you had hoped. Most people instantly label it a failure or the action a mistake... but that's not really a correct label. Just because something didn't go the way that you wanted doesn't make it a mistake, simply a different outcome than you wanted.

Something is never a failure or a mistake if you learn from it. Even when things don't go your way, if you choose to look and learn from it, you don't have to label it a mistake at all. Life is about learning and improvement. You can take as much back from a "mistake" as you can from a "success". Something is only a mistake when you fail to learn from it. Not learning from a mistake tends to lead to making the same mistake again. Life is about improvement not making the same mistakes over and over.

If you don't like the result, don't make the same action. If you do what you've always done, you are going to get what you have always gotten. If you don't like the way things always go, you need to make a change in how you do things.

Growing, changing, and improving is what life is about. Trying new things and different approaches until you are happy with the results is important.

Keep smiling everyone, today is going to be an amazing day...

Darkest before the dawn...

Life is full of ups and downs. The downs always seem like an eternity and the ups are always too short. If things aren't going your way, have faith that an up is right around the corner. It's during the downs that it becomes time to shine, not during the ups. The downs are not the time to give up rather the time to stand up. Character is revealed when times are tough. Let your character shine through...

The sun will shine again. Have faith in that simple fact and continue to smile. Today is a great day and tomorrow will be even better...

Making life easier...

One simply thing in life that I've learned is to make life easier for yourself. People sometimes do thing to complicate things such as make questionable decisions or be at inappropriate places. They basically do things they know they aren't supposed to do because they value the reward more than the potential consequence. Some people enjoy drama.

In life, this approach brings on a lot of reward but it also brings on a lot of headaches... and usually a lot of pain to other people. It's just easier to make life easy for yourself. Why create obstacles? Why get sidetracked? Drama wastes time and time is valuable.

As a child when you were walking home from school and saw a puddle, you knew to avoid it. As an adult, why would you walk through a puddle? Simply avoid the puddle and continue on your path to happiness. Have fun everyone and keep smiling...

Loving yourself...

There is no greater moment than the moment you realize the only person you truly need to impress is the person you see in the mirror. Loving who you are is a springboard towards a healthy and productive life. Feeling comfortable with your decisions and your actions provide the foundation of personal growth.

Not having to worry about what others think will allow you to make choices that are truly your own. Taking other people's feeling into consideration is a very important quality but learning that even that is a choice you're making is very empowering in it's self. Doing things because you want to and not because you think you are supposed to, you have to, or that others want you to is life changing.

You can't provide love to others until you provide love to yourself. Keep smiling everyone...

My biggest fear...

Growing up my biggest fear was talking. I wasn't comfortable with my own voice. To complicate things, learning to read wasn't any picnic either. With all the difficulties I had with my ears while learning to talk, no one could understand me. I found myself constantly repeating myself and not being understood. It was frustrating to say the least. Years and years of speech therapy and it's still something I think about.

Like I said, to compound the issue was learning to read. I was diagnosed with dyslexia at an early age. I excelled at certain things and was literally terrified of others. I had to read slowly and follow along with my finger. I wasn't really comprehending the sentences as much as trying to say the words the best I could. That wasn't even the worst of it... having to read a paragraph aloud!

I didn't have the sad fears as my classmates. I wasn't afraid of bullies or girls at this point, I was simply terrified of words. Reading aloud was probably the most difficult thing I ever had to do. My trick was to try to count ahead and make an educated guess as to when and which paragraph I was going to read. I would "practice" to myself over and over. Search out sounds that I had hard times saying and try and focus on those. When my teacher would look at me, my heart would fall. Here goes nothing I would think. Half my classmates couldn't understand me and the other half who could hear me, listened to me skip words and transpose letters.

When it was all said and done, all I could do was put my head down and relax. Not the boogie man or anyone other character from a horror film could ever scare me as much as having to expose myself like that in front of my classmates.

Not being able to communicate verbally was a huge issue as a child. Not talking was a lot easier than having to repeat myself or being misunderstood. My classmates weren't nearly as mean or cruel as the ones that laughed at me in my head.

Things did get better though...

Searching for answers...

No one is perfect. Not everyone is ready to accept that, but the truth is we all have flaws. The questions is... are you willing to understand this and accept someone's flaws? Are you ready to understand and accept your own flaws?

Life is lived forward and rationalized backwards. The future stands ahead of you. Make the most of the future. Understand you are who you are and decide where you want to go. Understand the things you have and the things you want. Most importantly, love the person you are and value the things you have. Often people search for happiness in different places and other things, and happiness was there the whole time, they just didn't realize it.

You won't be happy with the things you aren't and the things you don't have until you are happy with who you are and the things you already have. You can chase unicorns and battle ghosts, thinking you'll find happiness, but happiest exists everywhere. You are only as happy as you allow yourself to be.

Keep smiling and learn to love yourself. Today is amazing and tomorrow is going to be even better...

Ordering food...

If people were to just look at my diet they would label me picky but that definitely wasn't the whole story. I limited the different foods that I ate because it made things easier for me. I would lobby to go shopping with my mom because then I had some input on the food she bought for me. I would stick with the same old "reliables" I would eat every week. I was terrified of change, so this approach was a trick I used to ensure I would have some safe food to eat.

One of the scariest parts of growing up was going out to eat. A lot of places didn't have cereal or plain sandwiches which I ate ninety percent of the time. I would scan the menu trying to find the simplest foods with the shortest and easiest name to say. Then I would consider all the side orders and choose something I've had before for piece of mind. Even after stressing over what I wanted, the hardest part was still to come...

Few people were more intimidating than a waitress. They would stroll up to the table ever so casually and cast a huge spotlight on me... well so it felt. I knew when they approached it was time to get my game face on. I repeated over and over in my head the exact words I was going to say. I prayed the whole exchange would go smoothly and she wouldn't ask me anything unexpectedly. I would know most of the options she was going to ask from the menu or from listening to the people who ordered before me. One of the tricks I would use was to order last as a way of knowing what to expect when it came to the questioning and the mini-interrogation.
My other trick was just to say plain. It wasn't even that I necessarily wanted it plain, it would just end most chances of any follow-up questions.

Each time I made it through a trip eating out, I considered it a victory for the good guys!

True rainbows...

Sunshine creates life. Everyday I wake up to the hope of light. It's not guaranteed but simply a dream. Every morning may day relies that it will be sunny. Some days aren't as planned. Some days are cloudy. What's next...

Life is not over and the sky is not falling. Take it for what it is and only that. You can infer, extrapolate, anticipate, or come to your own conclusion, but... it's just cloudy. Not everyday will be sunny.

Dreams are often dashed. Not everyday is how you see or hope. Some days are cloudy, don't let it affect your dreams. Dreams exists amongst clouds. True dreams part the clouds and bring sun.

We all need dreams. Dreams make us focus and hope. Even amongst clouds, we can still have hope. Things are not bad and the sky is not falling. Life is amazing, keep smiling and be kind. Consider other people's feelings when you can.

The clouds and rain bring certain constants. For every drop of rain... a rainbow is assured. Look at the bright side. find your rainbow amongst the grey of a cloud. If you can't, you can tomorrow. Life isn't about not being able to, but simply not being able to yet... keep smiling everyone.

Action versus waiting...

Great things have been achieved through action. Great things have been conceived while waiting. Both can be important, but one is more relevant.

Act and don't react. Solve and don't wonder. Be active and don't think about it. Life isn't about wanting to do things, it's about doing things. Experiences aren't based on thought but trial and error.

Today only comes around today. You may long for tomorrow but the now is now. You can't duplicate now but you hope for tomorrow. Move now, tomorrow is still there.

Good luck everyone... make the most of today...

Right and wrong...

Every person is specifically different. We all act differently and think differently. We are all individuals with a unique attribute set. Thus we all see things differently.

Imagine a scenario of finding a twenty dollar bill at a grocery store. Do you give it to the person the closest to it? Turn it in? Pocket it? There's a million options and behaviors, each unique to the individual.

We all act and react based upon how we were taught. We are a culmination of our experiences and our environment. We behave how we think we are supposed to behave... and in an odd way that's all we can do. With this realization, when looking at others, all we can do is understand and accept.

Back to the twenty dollar scenario, there's a variety of people in the world that would do each one of those things. Some people would keep it without question. Some people would return it. Some people would attempt to track down it's owner. There's a million degrees of these scenarios, a million different people who would do each one. These same million people would each consider how the other one handles it as wrong. "You are stupid to return it." "You are stupid to keep it."

People handle things how they think they are supposed to handle them. To extrapolate further, people also judge others based on they think they would react if they were in the same situation. We hold other people to our standards even though these standards are not their standards.

If everyone handles a situation differently, there's a million styles of right as well as a million styles of wrong. Each right and wrong belonging to a different person. How we handle something is right to us and could be wrong to another.

We are individuals. We come from a different background and have had different experiences. These experiences are what shape us. We try to put ourselves in other people's shoe and fail because we don't know all the factors.

There's only one person that we can truly comment on and that person is ourself. The only energy and thought that we need to expend is to make sure our actions and reactions make sense to us. To judge another person is pointless and a waste of time.

We are all different and that's what makes us amazing. Keep smiling everyone, today is going to be a great day...

Humility...

Everyone excels in different areas. Naturally in certain fields, specific people will shine and in others fields, another group of people will stand out. Just because you are better at someone at something doesn't make you a better person, it just makes you better at the certain thing.

Strength can be used to two different ways. You can use your strength to lend a hand and help someone up or you can use your strength to hold someone back. I've long believe that if you know, teach and if you have give... I chose long ago to use my strength to help others.

Part of life is trying new things. When we first start out, we probably won't impress... but that's not what we are there to do. We do things to learn. Not doing something perfectly the first time isn't a failure, it's a stepping stone. Success comes with time and hard work.

Overcoming obstacles and improving one's self is part of life. Don't allow yourself to be discouraged and don't allow yourself slow down. Keep working hard. In the end, hard work will get rewarded.

If you are the one that shine while the people around you struggle. There's no value in mentioning it, but there is value from learning from it. Encourage others.

People don't know other people's motives for attempting something. Don't discourage others. No one is perfect, so there's no point in trying to think we are. People enjoy the things they are good at, but should try to work at the things that they aren't.

We all excel at different things. Sometimes there's a lot of value in one single word... humble. Keep smiling everyone and keep working hard. Life is a process... no one is quite there.

Appreciation....

Very few things in life are guaranteed. It's important in life to strive for more, to stay thirsty, to grasp opportunities... but it's also important to appreciate what you already have. Things, friendships, opportunities, etc... come and go. Situations change. Circumstances change. People Change. Never take things for granted.

When someone does something nice, always thank them. Never expect kindness but appreciate it when it happens. People don't have to do nice things for others, consider them gifts and not expectations. You only get out of something what you put into them, so be kind to people.

In life we all have tiny expectations. We all hope that sometimes people will do special things for us. We may want it, we may wish it, we may dream it... but it may not come. Focus on the people who have done special things for you. Don't focus on the people who don't come through, appreciate the ones who do.

Stay positive in life. Kindness is a gift. Give it first. Find out who returns it to you. Appreciate it. Stay smiling everyone, today's going to be a great day...

Today is not over...

Today is not just any day, today is this very moment. This is the moment that decides if you have a smile on your face or a frown. It's today that can be molded and shaped. It's today you can control.

Yesterday is the past, did you make the most of it? Today is the now... will you make the most of it? Fortunately, you still have time to decide. Will you look back and regret or will you look back and smile.

Wasting time means you are wasting part of your life. Your life is a collection of days, a collection of experiences and opportunities. Laugh at the experiences and make the most of opportunities. Not very many things in life are guaranteed, but today is because it's here. Bask is the sunshine and keep smiling... today is going to be a good day.

Personal Growth...

People are dynamic. We are constantly changing and growing. Our outlooks grow and our thought broaden. With every experience we have, we take something back from it. We learn, adapt, and grow as people.

Experiences leading to change is how we become better people. We refine our lives by understanding what works and what doesn't, the things we like and the things we don't, and so forth...

We need not compare ourselves to other people. It's a comparison that will get you no where. We only need to compare ourselves to are previous selves. Are you a better person than you were yesterday? Are you better than you were a year ago?

Strive to be a better person. Learn from our mistakes and grow as people. You are not the same person that you were, but be sure that your changes are for the better. Open your mind and be more open. Seize more opportunities and take more risks. Care about yourself and also care about others. Be more than you were. Keep smiling everyone, today is a great day...

Looking forward...

Your actions today affect your future. Today's actions have consequences. Today is the day that matters not yesterday... but yesterday is very important. Life is lived forward and understood and rationalized backwards. The future is what matters, but so does the past. The past is what brought you to the situation you are in today. Don't dwell on the past, yet learn from it. Life is just a huge learning experience.

No one is perfect. We all make mistakes. Look ahead to the future and take advantage of the opportunity you have. We all make mistakes but we all have the potential for greatness. Don't look at your past as a bad thing. Don't focus on mistakes, focus on why they were mistakes and learn from them. Don't make the same mistake over and over. If you do the same thing over and over, you will get the same results over and over. Change what you do, get a different outcome.

Today is a great day and tomorrow might even be better. Look to the future and always remember to smile...

Happiness comes from within...

The older I got the more I realized that overcoming shyness simply wasn't going to happen without a little work. I began to understand it as a problem and started to tackle it. I started by observing the behaviors of more outgoing people to learn what made them tick. I found the results surprising.

Not having a ton of money growing up, I was envious of those who did have money. In a way I thought that money made the man. Since we didn't have a lot, I thought that was maybe why I couldn't muster any confidence? Then I realized this wasn't the case at all. Happiness doesn't come from the clothes you wear... happiness simply comes from inside of you. You are simply as happy as you want and allow yourself to be.

It's not the clothes you wear or the things you surround yourself with that lead to happiness... it's your core and the person you are that gives you confidence. I knew I had a lot to learn.

Winning and losing...

Winning is wonderful, it's what we aspire to do... but there's a lot to be learned from losing as well. Life is about learning and learning came be done in success and also defeat. There's a grace involved in both scenarios and both are necessary in life. You need to learn how to win as much as you need to learn how to lose. If both are necessary, is winning very important? The simple answer is no.

Character is revealed during hardship not bliss. Anyone can live an easy life, it's much harder to stay focused and upbeat during the rough patches... and yes they are just patches. Things do and will get better.

If winning is really important to you, focus on the real competitions in life. Fight to be the best person you can be. Compete to raise the best children you can have. Be a loving husband...

Life consists of battles and some you won't win. Never focus on the battles, focus on the war. Sometimes the path to achieving our goals have stumbling points. Accomplish your goals. Obstacles are just distraction and temporary. Stay focused and learn from your mistakes. We all make mistakes. We all lose at times. Stay positive.

A loss is never a loss is we use it as a stepping stone to a future win. Keep fighting, stay focused, and always remember to smile. Life is never that bad...

Dreams...

Life consists of phases. Certain phases are more significant than others but each phases is important to our overall growth. You are a product of the things you've done and the lessons you've taken back from these accomplishments. The fun part is when you realize that there is so much more waiting out there for you.

As a child we dream of the things we want to do and be. These dreams are elaborate and sometimes very specific. As we grow older we forget to dream. Work, responsibility, and life in general sidetrack us from dreaming. Without dreams how can determine what the next phases in our lives should be? Without dreams what do we strive for?

Changes happen regardless and life is unpredictable. Life moves on whether we do or not... whether we are ready or not. Set goals. Want things. Continue to dream.

We only become old when our regrets take the place of our dreams. Keep dreaming and stay thirsty to want more. Hard work gets rewarded in the end, keep working hard towards your goals. It's a beautiful day out, remember to keep smiling...

Have strong character...

Your reputation is how you are seen and judged by people who don't know you. Your character is who you are to the one true person that matters... you. People judge you in relative terms as to how the would act and behave in a particular circumstance, but nothing as it relates to your true character. It's far better to have good character than to try to impress other people.

Demonstrat your character with action, not words. Maintain solid behavior and act as a role model. What people think is really up to them, you can't live and think for them. Simply be the best person you can be to the people who matter and let the people whlmdont matter waste their own time judging.

Be kind and caring to the people who have earned it. They have the opinions that matter. Stay true to yourself and the people who understand and support you. Life isn't about knowing a lot of people... life is about forming meaningful friendships.

Spend some time in the sun and always remember all the wonderful things you have to be grateful for. Make the most of
life and always... remember to smile...

Finding your voice...

Growing up extremely shy I had a terrible time finding the courage to really say much. I was embarrassed of my voice and tried everything I could never to use it. The part of me that tolerated my voice didn't think the things I had to say were important enough to be said. I thought my thoughts were unimportant and began to feel like I wasn't good enough to ever speak up for myself.

As I began to learn how to overcome my shyness, I began to speak up more. If people were going somewhere I wanted to go, I found the strength to ask if I could go... and you know what, they usually said yes. At restaurants, I began to summon the courage to request my food the way I wanted it, and sure enough, it wasn't a major problem. I learned that you only get what you ask for... people can't read minds.

One of the things I remember that was a problem when I was shy was never really saying how I felt. I hinted about it. I could infer it... but there was no way I could ever be direct. Beating around the bush used to be my favorite game. Since people did not always pick up on my hints and since people do not read minds, I was often disappointed.

Not being direct lead to a few other problems other than not getting the things I wanted... I often wasn't understood. Things I tried to say got taken the wrong way. People made a lot of assumptions and I didn't really have to words to express myself. Poor communication will lead to countless fights and I was the king of poor communication.

Not being direct and being misunderstood a lot, I learned to keep a lot of my feelings bottled up inside me. After time I realized that was crazy. You can't keep everything you feel bottled up inside you, you'll explode.

The more I began to shed my shyness, the more direct I began to be. I was beginning to tell people the things I liked and more importantly the things I didn't. I learned to get things off my chest and it made me feel a lot better. My happiness mattered to me and I learned that no one would know how I felt unless I told them. I finally felt like I found my voice.

Finding your voice opened many doors for me. Understanding that being direct and communication would ultimately make me a happier person. People don't have to do the things you want or act the way you want them to... but if they won't if you never tell them. People can't read minds nor can they guess how you feel. Sometimes you just have to tell them.

Keep smiling everyone, it's going to be a nice day out...

First times...

The best paths in the world are the difficult ones. They involve twists and turns... adventures of a sort. Sometimes the adrenaline occurs because we don't know the path, but so does the fear. If we've never done it, we don't know the road. Not knowing is scary and a lot of people avoid uncomfortable and scary situations. This all makes sense except I said some of the "best" paths in the world are the difficult ones.

Not every road you take needs to be new. Not every road you take needs to be scary... but don't get scared by a new road. Something new is simply something you have yet to do. It's not insurmountable, just unaccomplished... until now! Take advantage of opportunities.

Opportunities are the gateway to options. Much like a path you have yet to tackle or a trail you haven't ran, trying new things give us a chance to learn more. Life is learning. You will never know what you enjoy or dislike without a comparison.

The first time you try something, you can't tell if it's good or bad, because there is nothing to compare it to. Subsequently, the only time you can tell if you do like or dislike something is to have other comparisons. These are the options we are talking about.

If you truly like something, the only way to know is to compare it against the other things you have done. If you have never done anything else and it's the only thing you know... perhaps you are deceiving yourself. Opportunities present themselves at the most random and sometimes inappropriate times. Take advantage of opportunities when they present themselves, they may never reappear.

Life has no manual, but life is wonderful. There is no guilt, only laughter. Embrace happiness and always remember to smile...

Calm, cool, and collected...

We are affected by the people around us, so in understanding this... only allow yourself to be positively influenced and let the negativity wash away. Don't negatively change who you are because of the actions of someone else. Identify, understand, and learn from it... but don't change.

Anyone who has the power to anger us, controls us. Let's focus on taking control of ourselves. Stay non-reactive to things and simply learn from them. The things we learn from make us a better person, but the things we simply react to distract us from our goals. Keep your eye on the prize and stay focused.

Stay true to yourself and never allow a minor roadblock change your course. Continue to set good examples , stay positive, and always remember to smile...

Today...

Life grants you only one today... how are you going to use it? Will you affect other people? Will you change lives? Even without you realizing it, you will. Interaction (or lack of interaction) between you and the people that matter shapes us. Each interaction is an opportunity to put a smile on another person's face. Take advantage of those opportunities. Smiles are easy to give and they change lives.

You have the power to touch other people, use your power wisely. Keep dreaming, keep hoping, and always keep smiling...

To thy ownself (and everyone else) be true...

Being congruent is simply being the person that you portray yourself to be. Simple enough to conceptualize, but harder to pull off. A few quick examples would be someone who says one thing but does another or perhaps even someone who's personality doesn't match their external look.

If you portray yourself as supportive and positive but never do or act supportive or positively, then you are not being congruent. People's actions are a far more telling sign than their words could ever be. When words and actions do not link, there's a failure in congruency. If you tell people that you are caring and giving, but only act selfishly and only act in your best interest, you are not being congruent. There is a disconnect between image and reality.

I once told my sister that you can't date the mayor if you are dressed like someone who looks like they just got back from a rock show. There is an error in congruency. It's not a mistake in her character, rather the portrayal. Temperament, words, action, and even look all need to connect... in a word, congruent.

I hope everyone takes a moment to reflect on how great today is and find something in life to be happy about. Everyone has things coming up that they can smiling about, use these memories in life. Always remember to smile...

Understanding and support...

On the road to becoming a positive person, certain other aspects of your life follow suit. Becoming more positive implies developing an increased sense of determining the things you like and you don't like. Finding the things in yourself that you like and the traits in others that impress you as well. Becoming a positive person then doesn't become an attribute that you have, it becomes who you are.

Along with redefining your tastes, you also increase your pre-existing skill set to include values such as understanding and support. Appreciating other people for the good they possess instead of demonizing them for the traits they lack, will allow you to understand them in a new way. It will allow you to support them in their endeavors and further allow you to learn about yourself.

Everyone has flaws, but everyone has too many good qualities to notices the flaws. The glass is not half empty, nor is it half full... the glass is simply the wrong size. Keep smiling everyone, it's such a beautiful day outside...

Today is just as good of time as any...

I was talking to a girl the other day about this and that and she commented that it would have been fun to live where we live now, but 20 years ago. I don't have a time machine, never been in a DeLorean, I don't know a guy named Doc Brown, in fact I don't even know anyone named Doc... but I do any this moment. It's pointless to long for something that we can't have, but we can make the most of the time we do have. Today is tomorrow's yesterday. Make the most of your opportunities and you won't have any regrets. Twenty Years ago wasn't the best time to live somewhere, right now is the best time to live somewhere.

You can waste money and you become poor... but if you waste time, you lose part of your life. Today has been a good day and tomorrow will be a better day. Keep smiling everyone.

Enjoy the reward of your hard work...

If you worry too much about what other people think, you will never become the person you were meant to be... only the person you think other people want you to be. You can't please everyone and if you get in the habit of trying, it's a battle you will lose. The only way to truly be happy is to be comfortable with yourself enough to realize that you can't please everyone but you can treat everyone fairly. When it all comes down to it, the only person you have to answer to is yourself.

Decisions are a merely a comparision of pros against cons. If the reward is high enough, then you will take the risk. But what if you don't truly understand how powerful the reward is. Thinking you understand something and knowing you understand something are only seperated by a little action. The reward is usual worth the risk, but you won't realize that until you try. Take risks and value the reward... and if you don't, well at least you'll know for sure it's not your cup of tea.

Life involves growth. Challenge yourself to grow. People like what they are good at, I challenge you to work on the things that you aren't good at. When I was overweight, I challenged myself to get into shape... then worked with others to help them lose weight. When I was shy, I challenged myself to come out of my shell... and then worked with others to help them find their own value. When I feared speaking, I forced myself to speak more. When I couldn't read... I decided to write a book to help others.

There's safe roads and curved roads. Doesn't it seem like the best trails have turns? The hard work to get to the top of the uphill is rewarded by the coast downhill. When you are feeling tired or feeling down, take pride in knowing hard work gets rewarded and the pay off is usually worth it. Keep smiling everyone, it's a wonderful day.

What's the point in holding a grudge?

One of the most unnecessary things in life is a holding a grudge. Somethings in life are going to go your way and others are not. In life you are going to feel an array of negative emotions: upset, anger, disappointment, etc... the key to it all is how you handle those feelings.

The character traits I value are positive ones. I find things like being positive and understanding as important. I appreciate attributes like being supportive and encouraging to ones like stubborn and stand-offish. Choose the attribute set you would rather have.

You can blame people for your emotions or you can just let them go. People do make mistakes and it's completely ok not to like everyone, but you are wasting your energy when holding a grudge. If it's a waste of your time, then why do it? The people who deserve my support I give one hundred percent to... the others are just uncredited extras in my life. They don't influence my life nor do I waste my time being mad at them. Time is too important to waste.

I've often said that forgiveness isn't a character trait of the weak, rather it's sign of strength. Spend your time and energy on the people who are worth it and not on the people who aren't.

Keep smiling everyone. Appreciate the sunshine when you can and always stay thirsty and strive for more...

The art of being positive...

Becoming a positive person doesn't come naturally to everyone and honestly it can be hard for some. In order for it to be who you are and not just how you are acting, it requires a little time and a little work. Like all other aspects of life, becoming positive is a process.

Being a positive person involves different concentric levels. Positivity reeks from inwards towards outwards, from Your central core to the your surrounding aura. Believe in yourself, be positive in your assumptions, staying level headed during adversity, find the good in any situation, and being supportive of others.

Anyone can complain but a rare few can always find the positive side of things. Surround yourself with people who believe in you... they are the people who matter. Avoid people who tell you that can't accomplish something, they don't want you to succeed.

I live my life as a positive person. I interchange positivity and supportive as often as I can and on purpose. I will support the people in my life who have earned my support and avoid the people who try and hold me down. There's few things in life that you can offer people better than your support, it's one of the best gifts you can give. They may never see it, but that doesn't matter to you. It's just who you are... keep smiling, life is good.

Nothing says more than a smile. Smiles are refreshing, exciting, and create more smiles. Smiles say both hello and thank you. Always remember to smile... you never knows who's day you'll brighten :)

The only thing you have to fear...

Growing up the one thing I feared the most was school. I was uncomfortable with my voice, I was nervous talking to other people, and I was self-conscience about my physique. I worried, daily, about the few friends I had... hoping that they would be at school. My fear was if they missed school, I would eat lunch alone.

I was what you would consider shy.

Everyday, that was my fear. School work to me came very easily, but I was intimidated by school. I honestly dreaded it. I found myself lost in the work and missing the experience. It wasn't by accident, it was my way of coping.

It wasn't until my senior year in high school that I even felt comfortable talking out loud in class.

I look back at my life and I understand what a lot of people go through on a daily basis. I worried too much. I carried about other people's opinions too much. I hated things about myself. I can relate...

Dreams aren't meant to be denied, they are meant to be achieved. Everyone's life is a process... make yours a positive one. Keep smiling, life is amazing.

We aren't the people we once were...

Life involves progress and growth. People are constantly changing and striving to improve themselves. Personal growth and self betterment is what we partake in from the moment we are born. Without change and growth we aren't living, but time continues.

Relationships, too, are about growth. A relationship is facing the same way and moving forward together. You must accept the changes in each other and continue to support one another to make a relationship work.

Always remember to find the good in other people and always remember to smile...

The perfection of people...

People are perfect. They should never consider themselves inferior to anyone else or unable to do something. Your smile can change a life just as anyone else's smile can and anything can be accomplished if you feel strongly enough about it.

Here's something that you might find odd and that's that no one is perfect. Sounds a bit of a paradox but everyone makes mistakes and we all have things about ourselves we need to improve in. Everyone has "flaws" and "weaknesses". The realization if this may help you to understand that everyone is perfected because we do have flaws.

We are all in the same fight together... just trying to do our best and succeed at things. Pointing out the misfortunes in others is unrewarding and unnecessary. Use your strength to pull up other people not to push them down. People can do a lot better with support than with ridicule.

We are no better than the person beside us and we must understand they aren't better than us either. We are all perfect with lots of amazing qualities that should be acknowledged. Keep smiling and enjoy the sunshine... better yet provide some sunshine to those who don't feel they have any...

Keep fighting, hard work does pay off...

Always be true to your core values. Never let greed or other people's opinion detour you from what you believe to be right. As a person of high value, other people's opinion only go so far... the only true opinion you need is your own. Always stand up for the things you believe in. With a little hard work, patience, and resolve... dreams will become reality. At first your dreams will seem impossible, then improbable, and eventually inevitable. Stay the course.

You can use your strength in two ways, to hold other people down or to pull them up. I believe in being supportive and pulling them up, dusting them off, and dragging them with you. Stand up for the people who don't stand up for themselves, set an example, and teach them they can do the same. Improve the people around you through actions and experiences. Help them find their path to success and happiness.

Keep fighting, keep laughing, and always keep smiling. We accomplish things because we believe we can...

Breaking the routine...

The words "if" and "but" often get in the way of progress and accomplishment. Anyone can come up with excuses not to do something, but wouldn't it be easier to come up with reasons to do something?

Challenge yourself. Force yourself to live outside your comfort zone. Tackle new projects, take more risks, enjoy your time. Challenge yourself to eliminate limiting words from your vocabulary like "can't" and "no" and replace them with words like "sure" and "yes". It's a lot better to say you tried to do something than to say you can't do something.

Without risk, there is no reward. Without effort, there is no mastery. Errors stem from trying and not from sitting. Mistakes are just building blocks to launch from.
Keep smiling and enjoy the sun...

God gave you a mouth, use it....

The biggest asset anyone has... is themselves. You have the ability to do anything you set your mind to. Life is about your choices and not about the choices other people make for you. Your fate is in your hands every single day. Your actions and thoughts are what define you and conversely your lack of action may also stifle you.

Ever want to do something but were afraid to ask? Life is about choices. Not opening your mouth is also choice but with only one answer, that answer is no. By not asking a question or not doing something, you eliminate any chance at a yes. What you have also done is taken all the choice away from the other people. What if they wanted to give you a yes? You took the choice away from them. God gave you a mouth, use it.

You can't get the things you don't ask for and you'll never get a yes either. What's the WORST thing that can happen if you decide to take a chance? A no? A no is the same thing you get by not asking either. Why don't you give them the choice and not decide for them. You never know, a yes might only be a moment away... keep smiling.

Basic outlooks for life...

Along with basic energy in your life, you need a tangible skill set to tackle everyday life. Here's a few things that have affected my life.

Be true to yourself. Don't change who you are to fit the moment instead make the other people realize who you are. Your conscience is the only thing you need to answer to so stay loyal to that.

Be non-reactive. Don't rush to judgment when you don't know all the facts. Don't allow other people to affect your mood. If someone has the power to anger you, they own you. Happiness comes from within not from validation from other people.

Make the positive assumption. Too often people over-think a scenario when waiting. They assume all the negative things that could be going on. Being a positive person make the assumption that works the best for you. Instead of thinking they haven't call you because they hate you, think they haven't called because they like you so much that they are nervous.

Pick your battles. Life is not about confrontation rather bliss. You don't have to be right and it's ok to admit fault. Stand up for what you believe in, but having the other person agree with you is not a quest.

Don't judge other people. Everyone puts their pants on one leg at a time, just like you do. They have stresses and good days and bad days like the rest of us. They come from a different background and have had different experiences than you have. Different is not bad and you are not better than they are. More importantly, no one is better than you. The only person you are qualified to judge is yourself. The only person you need to compare yourself to is the person you were...

Life is a process so there's no need to put too much value on a specific portion of your life, rather on the whole. Life has ups and downs, don't get taken in too deeply during the downs and always stay grounded during the ups. Life is amazing and time doesn't wait for you. Try all the things you can and always remember to smile...

A new horizon...

Even if it rains for a month straight, there is still promise of a change. Hope exists that the sun will eventually shine. It's this hope that helps up keep our faith. As bad as things look, they will get better.

You will have good days and bad days, that's life. In order for the bad days not to consume you is that very hope that things will change. Take pride in knowing that things will improve and the sun will shine. Even when you feel that there is no hope, summon that strength. I am telling you right now that hope does exist.

Sometimes things are out of your hands and sometimes things are because of your hands. Making a repeated mistake and having misfortune are not the same things. Remember the sunshine, remember the licks of a puppy on your face, and always remember to smile. You are only as happy as you let yourself be... it's time to enjoy life!

Basic tips for life...

Here are just some basic principles to stay smiling...

Make your life easier. Don't complicate things with situations you know won't end well. Drama just adds headaches.

Surround yourself with positive people. Don't associate with people who use the words can't, don't, and impossible. Life is hard enough as it is, you don't need people pulling you down. Find people who support you, not deflate you.

Hard work gets rewarded. If you work hard, you will get results. This goes for relationships, work, exercise, sports, school... anything. Don't be afraid to get your hands dirty and put in long hours, in the end there will be a payoff.

Stand up for yourself. No one has the ability or the right to decide for you. Do the things that you want to do, not the things people expect or want you to do.

Strive to do better. Never settle until you reach the top. A nice plateau half way up might look cozy, but keep your eye on the prize. Never settle for good when you are good enough to achieve great.

Give back. If you know, teach and if you have, give. Make the people around you better. If you want people around you that are supportive, you better be supportive. Life isn't about how much you can get, it's about how happy you can be.

You are your biggest asset. You control what you do and how you live. You are only as happy as you let yourself become... choose happiness. Never quit smiling.

It's ok to ask...

The loudest voice ever heard is your own voice standing up for yourself. To the shy, it's rarely heard, even memorable when used. To the strong, it's second nature, just a part of life. Some people fear their own voices.

You see it often when wanting something, a meager voice sputtering to be heard. Even more often you see the same mouth as silent. It's ok to ask for the things that you want. You don't need permission to be heard. What's the thing that you fear, a no? That's going to happen from time to time, but it's not nearly as life altering a few yeses are.

If you aren't used to using your voice, find it. The ability to ask for what you want or to say no to the things to don't is a trait unmatched. It's your life... make it as easy and happy as you can for yourself. Don't settle for second best... the biggest lie ever told was hearing that second best isn't really that bad. Strive for better, understand you can do better than average, know that you have value. Stay thirsty and always remember to smile...

Adversity is not a stopping point...

One basic truth in life is that hard work gets rewarded. At whatever you are trying to get accomplished, if you work hard you will succeed. You may lose faith along the way... it's natural. You might get discouraged because things aren't going smoothly... which is normal. Adversity is the thing that weeds out the weak.

Nothing worth anything in life is obtained easily. Hard work and determination achieve goals. Hard work is rewarded. Keep smiling, it's not much further now...

The sun...

There's nothing more wonderful than the Sun. It gives power and life to everything. It's consistent and proves warmth. Truth be told, we all have a little sun inside us. We all possess warmth give life to things. Sometimes we forget how much power we really have. Take a moment and appreciate the sunshine. If you can't find some, look inside yourself.

Happiness is just one joke away...

Happiness can spring up at anytime and take any form. It could be in the form of a cute puppy or the punchline to a funny joke. You never know where or when it's coming, but that's the great part of life. Take advantage of the happy times... but even more so, create happy times.

Emotions are contagious, so affect others in a positive way. No one wants to be around someone who makes them feel badly. Take opportunities to make other people's day. Random acts of kindness can put a smile on anyone's face, so why not do more of them.

You can use your strength in two ways, to push someone down or to pull someone up. Use your strength to brighten someone's day... not to rain on their parade. Your attitude influences other people, so set a good example.

Be positive when possible. Always know that things are not always as bad as they seem and happiest can arise at anytime. Life is as much fun as we make it, so let's smile and do our best to have a great time...