Finding your voice...

Growing up extremely shy I had a terrible time finding the courage to really say much. I was embarrassed of my voice and tried everything I could never to use it. The part of me that tolerated my voice didn't think the things I had to say were important enough to be said. I thought my thoughts were unimportant and began to feel like I wasn't good enough to ever speak up for myself.

As I began to learn how to overcome my shyness, I began to speak up more. If people were going somewhere I wanted to go, I found the strength to ask if I could go... and you know what, they usually said yes. At restaurants, I began to summon the courage to request my food the way I wanted it, and sure enough, it wasn't a major problem. I learned that you only get what you ask for... people can't read minds.

One of the things I remember that was a problem when I was shy was never really saying how I felt. I hinted about it. I could infer it... but there was no way I could ever be direct. Beating around the bush used to be my favorite game. Since people did not always pick up on my hints and since people do not read minds, I was often disappointed.

Not being direct lead to a few other problems other than not getting the things I wanted... I often wasn't understood. Things I tried to say got taken the wrong way. People made a lot of assumptions and I didn't really have to words to express myself. Poor communication will lead to countless fights and I was the king of poor communication.

Not being direct and being misunderstood a lot, I learned to keep a lot of my feelings bottled up inside me. After time I realized that was crazy. You can't keep everything you feel bottled up inside you, you'll explode.

The more I began to shed my shyness, the more direct I began to be. I was beginning to tell people the things I liked and more importantly the things I didn't. I learned to get things off my chest and it made me feel a lot better. My happiness mattered to me and I learned that no one would know how I felt unless I told them. I finally felt like I found my voice.

Finding your voice opened many doors for me. Understanding that being direct and communication would ultimately make me a happier person. People don't have to do the things you want or act the way you want them to... but if they won't if you never tell them. People can't read minds nor can they guess how you feel. Sometimes you just have to tell them.

Keep smiling everyone, it's going to be a nice day out...