Happiness comes from within. It begins with you and ends with the people you touch. You are simply as happy as you allow yourself to be. You can be your greatest ally as well as your biggest opposition, it's really up to you to decide. Life has no playbook or a script except the one you make and write everyday. Time moves no matter if you decide to or not. Use your time.
An excuse is simply a crutch and a very unnecessary one at that. Action builds experiences and experiences shape and mold us. Without action we will not grow. Personal growth is how derive happiness. Be a better person than you were yesterday and tomorrow be a better person than you were today. Always remember to smile and always remember to stay thirsty...
Friday, May 29, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
And the winner is...
Human nature dictates that we all want to be right... but how necessary is it? I've always preached that it's more important to be interesting than correct. Most people need that reassurance that they were correct and will argue until they are satisfied. There's no value in arguing it's better to just smile. Smiling confuses people.
The problem is that too many people confuse opinion with fact. To them it's fact, but in reality it's their opinion. In a sense opinion is relatively fact because it's only fact to them, so arguing is a waste of time. Time is valuable... there's no reason to waste it.
To achieve a goal, we need to pick our battles. In order to win a war, you need not win every fight in order to succeed. Wise people know when to overlook petty things and value the important things. Our goal is to achieve goals not win every battle.
Keep your eye on the prize and always remember to keep smiling.
The problem is that too many people confuse opinion with fact. To them it's fact, but in reality it's their opinion. In a sense opinion is relatively fact because it's only fact to them, so arguing is a waste of time. Time is valuable... there's no reason to waste it.
To achieve a goal, we need to pick our battles. In order to win a war, you need not win every fight in order to succeed. Wise people know when to overlook petty things and value the important things. Our goal is to achieve goals not win every battle.
Keep your eye on the prize and always remember to keep smiling.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Saturday, May 23, 2009
The art of worrying...
Lately some of my friends how found themselves at a flux in life. They are uncertain of their futures... feeling almost lost. They feel they are the only person they know who feel like that. They feel like there's something wrong with them because they don't know what the future holds.
I'm going to tell you all a secret... People who feel this way aren't isolated, they are the norm. No one knows exactly what the future holds. Everyone worries if they are making the right decisions. It doesn't make you weird or an outcast to worry, it makes you human.
There is no guide book to life. Life consists of trial and error. Try things and if it doesn't work out, try something else. If you learn from your "mistakes" they really weren't mistakes at all, but simply a learning experience much like a class in college.
Everyone has problems, it's natural. The art is in how you handle your problems and how much you let them overcome your daily life. Emotions are healthy. Pain is healthy. Joy is healthy. Just don't allow yourself to get caught up in the emotions. Don't get too low during the bad times and be sure to stay grounded during the high times.
Life is a journey. Life is a process. Enjoy the journey. Enjoy the process.
I'm going to tell you all a secret... People who feel this way aren't isolated, they are the norm. No one knows exactly what the future holds. Everyone worries if they are making the right decisions. It doesn't make you weird or an outcast to worry, it makes you human.
There is no guide book to life. Life consists of trial and error. Try things and if it doesn't work out, try something else. If you learn from your "mistakes" they really weren't mistakes at all, but simply a learning experience much like a class in college.
Everyone has problems, it's natural. The art is in how you handle your problems and how much you let them overcome your daily life. Emotions are healthy. Pain is healthy. Joy is healthy. Just don't allow yourself to get caught up in the emotions. Don't get too low during the bad times and be sure to stay grounded during the high times.
Life is a journey. Life is a process. Enjoy the journey. Enjoy the process.
Friday, May 22, 2009
The truth behind happiness...
As silly as this may seem, the truth behind happiness is being happy. I state the obvious because it's so often forgotten. Your happiness is derived when you are the one that gets to be happy. Selfishness isn't ensuring your happiness first, but stupidity is ensuring it last.
There's cause and effect in life. There's action and reaction. You can't control the reaction, you can only control the cause. Create a positive cause, ideally, get a positive reaction. But what if the action was positive and you still got a negative reaction? If your intentions were fair, you need not fear. You can't control the reaction, only the initial action.
If you walk on eggshells worrying about a reaction, you will walk fairly slow. There is value in worrying about others, but there is also a point when you can't at you own expense. It's time to take charge of your life... it's time to get off the eggshells.
There's cause and effect in life. There's action and reaction. You can't control the reaction, you can only control the cause. Create a positive cause, ideally, get a positive reaction. But what if the action was positive and you still got a negative reaction? If your intentions were fair, you need not fear. You can't control the reaction, only the initial action.
If you walk on eggshells worrying about a reaction, you will walk fairly slow. There is value in worrying about others, but there is also a point when you can't at you own expense. It's time to take charge of your life... it's time to get off the eggshells.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
The value of no...
Many times in the past I have spoken about saying yes to things. I've stressed taking risks and maximizing opportunities. New adventures and more stories increase the number of experiences you have and the more wisdom you earn. So there's a lot of value to saying yes to things... but there's a lot of value in saying no to things as well.
You possess immense personal value which makes your time a valuable asset. You can't always say yes to everybody or everything. You must prioritize and only agree to the opportunities that help you. It's ok to pass over the things that waste your time. Your time is an asset you should share with the people who have earned it.
If you waste money, you work and make more money. If you waste time, you waste a part of your life.
You possess immense personal value which makes your time a valuable asset. You can't always say yes to everybody or everything. You must prioritize and only agree to the opportunities that help you. It's ok to pass over the things that waste your time. Your time is an asset you should share with the people who have earned it.
If you waste money, you work and make more money. If you waste time, you waste a part of your life.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Living exceptionally...
Normal people do what's in the best interest of themselves. Their decisions and behavior what's serves them the best. Exceptional people take it one step further. Exceptional people do what's best not only themselves, but also take into consideration what's best for other people too. There is value in caring and there is value in sharing.
We live in a society fueled by greed. Get as much as you can until it's all gone... then move on and do it again. Lost is the balance between maximizing and optimizing. you can shave a sheep continuously but skin it only once.
It's time to live exceptionally. Instead of focusing on what's solely best for you, try and understand what is best for everyone. There's a huge difference between fair and popular. If 51% of society believed slavery should be legal, thus popular, it wold not be right. If you asked 5 wolves and 1 sheep what was for dinner, I don't think the sheep would enjoy that vote.
People are amazing. I hope you ponder this for a moment and have a wonderful day.
We live in a society fueled by greed. Get as much as you can until it's all gone... then move on and do it again. Lost is the balance between maximizing and optimizing. you can shave a sheep continuously but skin it only once.
It's time to live exceptionally. Instead of focusing on what's solely best for you, try and understand what is best for everyone. There's a huge difference between fair and popular. If 51% of society believed slavery should be legal, thus popular, it wold not be right. If you asked 5 wolves and 1 sheep what was for dinner, I don't think the sheep would enjoy that vote.
People are amazing. I hope you ponder this for a moment and have a wonderful day.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Making your life easier...
A lot has been said about taking risks and converting opportunities, but there's something I don't think I touched that much on and that's simplifying your life.
It is possible to take on too many things and spread yourself too thin. This will cause you too lose focus and you won't be able to have the time needed for yourself and the people around you that have earned it. Sometimes it's time to cutback. You don't have to win every battle, you only need to win the war. Pick your battles and simplify things.
Surround yourself with positive and encouraging people. Surround yourself with amazing people and you will have amazing results. Conversely, don't spend time with negative people. They don't do anything for you and usually stop you from achieving your goals. Misery loves company, don't become miserable.
Focus on the things that bring you joy and avoid the things that waste your time. Grow on positive results and continue to look forward. Cut ties with the things that hold you back. Stay thirsty and be positive.
It is possible to take on too many things and spread yourself too thin. This will cause you too lose focus and you won't be able to have the time needed for yourself and the people around you that have earned it. Sometimes it's time to cutback. You don't have to win every battle, you only need to win the war. Pick your battles and simplify things.
Surround yourself with positive and encouraging people. Surround yourself with amazing people and you will have amazing results. Conversely, don't spend time with negative people. They don't do anything for you and usually stop you from achieving your goals. Misery loves company, don't become miserable.
Focus on the things that bring you joy and avoid the things that waste your time. Grow on positive results and continue to look forward. Cut ties with the things that hold you back. Stay thirsty and be positive.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Value based decisions....
Choices consist of options and a decision is the selection of one of the choices. Here's the part that most people fail to understand that a decision is based on the comparison of values and the selection of which one has the highest value at the time. you can also think of it as comparing risk versus reward.
Imagine an imaginary "pro and con" list... that's basically how decisions are formed. You assign value to each side until you feel comfortable deciding. Now imagine an old school scale, the kind that uses the balancing of two objects to determine the heavier object. And now relate that to how a decision is decided.
On one side of the scale is option A and on the other side is option B. Based on our values of A or B, we will determine which one works for us at that moment and potential act on it. Certain factors influence the value we place on things... time, energy, etc, but it's the value that determine our decisions.
Since everyone comes from different backgrounds and has had different experiences, we each place different values on different things. With that being said, people actions, being based off their own unique value set, are impossible to be judged.
If someone doesn't feel like going out, it's because the value they've placed on staying home is greater than the value they place on getting ready and going out. Similarly, if someone decides to take a risk, it's because they've taken risks before and the value they place on the potential positive outcomes outweighs the value they place on the potential negative outcome.
In that last example, it's hard to tell a shy guy who has never taken a risk to take a risk if he's never felt the power of the reward. The value he places on rejection is very high and the value he places on the safer choice is also very high.
Something as simple as lunch can be used as an example. Price, distance, quality of food, last time you had it, convenience, etc... all factor into your decision of where to eat. The value you place on these factors help shape your decision.
Then you can look at more serious decisions. Look at that mayor of NY who was caught using prostitutes. Is he wrong for doing it? Probably... but it is easy to justify, sure. The value he placed on sex was higher than the potential of getting catch. Look at a woman who has to decide to leave their boyfriend. She has to decide if the value she places on time invested is worth more than the value she places on potentially being single. People have different values for these concepts based on past experience.
Imagine an imaginary "pro and con" list... that's basically how decisions are formed. You assign value to each side until you feel comfortable deciding. Now imagine an old school scale, the kind that uses the balancing of two objects to determine the heavier object. And now relate that to how a decision is decided.
On one side of the scale is option A and on the other side is option B. Based on our values of A or B, we will determine which one works for us at that moment and potential act on it. Certain factors influence the value we place on things... time, energy, etc, but it's the value that determine our decisions.
Since everyone comes from different backgrounds and has had different experiences, we each place different values on different things. With that being said, people actions, being based off their own unique value set, are impossible to be judged.
If someone doesn't feel like going out, it's because the value they've placed on staying home is greater than the value they place on getting ready and going out. Similarly, if someone decides to take a risk, it's because they've taken risks before and the value they place on the potential positive outcomes outweighs the value they place on the potential negative outcome.
In that last example, it's hard to tell a shy guy who has never taken a risk to take a risk if he's never felt the power of the reward. The value he places on rejection is very high and the value he places on the safer choice is also very high.
Something as simple as lunch can be used as an example. Price, distance, quality of food, last time you had it, convenience, etc... all factor into your decision of where to eat. The value you place on these factors help shape your decision.
Then you can look at more serious decisions. Look at that mayor of NY who was caught using prostitutes. Is he wrong for doing it? Probably... but it is easy to justify, sure. The value he placed on sex was higher than the potential of getting catch. Look at a woman who has to decide to leave their boyfriend. She has to decide if the value she places on time invested is worth more than the value she places on potentially being single. People have different values for these concepts based on past experience.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
The journey...
The only time you really fail at something is when you start blaming other people for mistakes. Life is about learning and you learn just as much from your failures as you do your successes. Good choices come from experience and experiences come from bad choices... life is a journey.
I don't believe in making excuses, I find them unnecessary. Excuses are just justifications for not succeeding at something. Life is lived forwards and then rationalized backwards. Goals are the things you hope to achieve but the most important thing is to try. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a first step. To achieve a goal you must take that first step.
I don't believe in making excuses, I find them unnecessary. Excuses are just justifications for not succeeding at something. Life is lived forwards and then rationalized backwards. Goals are the things you hope to achieve but the most important thing is to try. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a first step. To achieve a goal you must take that first step.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Thinking you can or knowing you can...
The major difference between hoping you can do something and knowing you can do something is action. You can think things are possible but you'll never really know until you try. Every adventure begins with a first step and every success starts with an attempt.
Whether you succeed or whether you fail is irrelevant... the value lies in the attempt. There is no failure in trying, the only failure comes in not trying. You will never know if you can do something until you try. It's time to try. You can't get what you don't ask for, you can't accomplish what you don't try, and there is no time like the present.
Every new day brings new opportunities... take advantage of your opportunities.
Whether you succeed or whether you fail is irrelevant... the value lies in the attempt. There is no failure in trying, the only failure comes in not trying. You will never know if you can do something until you try. It's time to try. You can't get what you don't ask for, you can't accomplish what you don't try, and there is no time like the present.
Every new day brings new opportunities... take advantage of your opportunities.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Emotions and reactions
One thing I've always felt was that emotions are what keep us feeling alive. Experience excitement. Feel nervous. Mourn sadness.
The one thing I think needs to be spoken once again is even though emotions are critical to us, we can't let them dictate our actions fully. How people react to emotions show much more about their character than most other qualities. It's natural to feel upset, but you shouldn't react with violence. It's ok to feel fear, doesn't mean you have to curl up into a ball.
The key to reacting to an emotion is to disassociate from that emotion. When you are angry, you need not call someone a hurtful name in spite. Realize that you are angry and react nonreactive, maintaining composure, acting in a genuine manner.
You really need to act above the emotion. Experience the emotion. Reveal in it. Embrace it. It's usually a clear and true key but staying above the emotion will allow you to understand, cope, and move past it. If you've been rejected don't swear off trying. If you've been happy don't be content. It's ok to feel sad, you can't let it paralyze you.
Just keep smiling, stay thirsty, and be positive. Dance like nobody's watching and love like you've never been hurt.
The one thing I think needs to be spoken once again is even though emotions are critical to us, we can't let them dictate our actions fully. How people react to emotions show much more about their character than most other qualities. It's natural to feel upset, but you shouldn't react with violence. It's ok to feel fear, doesn't mean you have to curl up into a ball.
The key to reacting to an emotion is to disassociate from that emotion. When you are angry, you need not call someone a hurtful name in spite. Realize that you are angry and react nonreactive, maintaining composure, acting in a genuine manner.
You really need to act above the emotion. Experience the emotion. Reveal in it. Embrace it. It's usually a clear and true key but staying above the emotion will allow you to understand, cope, and move past it. If you've been rejected don't swear off trying. If you've been happy don't be content. It's ok to feel sad, you can't let it paralyze you.
Just keep smiling, stay thirsty, and be positive. Dance like nobody's watching and love like you've never been hurt.
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